How many of you are currently decking the halls?  Donning your gay apparel?   Trimming your tree?   Snogging under a mistletoe?   How about freaking out about how the hell you are going to afford presents this year, let alone rent?

It’s that time of the year where we all write letters to a fat man who lives in the frigid north asking him for the material goodies that we can’t afford to buy ourselves.  Then, on that magical night of nights, the fat man, with a white beard, jumps in his magic sleigh – led by 8 magical slave … er … reindeer who can fly (and one who has been snorting WAY too much cocaine for his own good) and travels the entire earth squeezing his fat ass down chimney’s to leave presents for the snot nosed brats of the world.

Yeah,  the 8 year old inside of me is just SCREAMING bullshit.

Now, don’t get me wrong.   I was the kid who told people in school that my mom went to high school with Michael Jackson AND Tiffany.  That there were alligators in my swimming pool and that New Kids on the Block were going to be playing at my 11th birthday party.   I know ALL about how to tell a great story!

I suppose what baffles me about our Christmas traditions is why they differ SO greatly from all other religions.   You don’t see Jewish people waiting for the magic dreidle to pop out of the toilet and drop candy for all the boys and girls.  No, their traditions are much more sensible with lighting a candle for each night the oil burned and kept people alive.

My mothers favorite holiday was Christmas.   She would literally shop for us all year long and keep the gifts hidden in the sewing room closet (yea, you KNOW I found that stash back in middle school).   The tradition each Christmas was to decorate the tree about 3 days prior to the 25th.  Dad would hang the lights and then my sister and I would have a brawl over who was going to hang the sparkly, prettiest decorations.   Then on Christmas Eve, we would go to church (where my sister and I would sing duets) and then come home and drink hot chocolate and read Twas the Night.   VERY vivid and wonderful memories.

But the adult inside of be cries at all of the lies we have to believe in order for us to be happy.   I think it’s a WONDERFUL story that Santa Claus – despite his obvious addiction to milk and cookies which can only lead to high blood pressure and diabetes – is a loving and friendly man who loves to give gifts.    I’m sure that’s the point.   However,   what is our facination with having to  tell this elaborate story that makes absolutely no sense?!   Why couldn’t we have just had a holiday where we show our appreciation for one another by buying gifts and celebrating the ones we love?

Of course, in the end, I will spend loads of money on the people who I cherish.   I will deck the halls, sing the carols, wear the gaudy sweater, make the tofurky and party like it’s 1999.  So,  whether the fat man can squeeze down your chimney, whether your magic dreidle gets stuck in the plumbing, whether the soul bursts from your solstice or your candles light your kwanzaa evening on fire -

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Beyond all of the stories and traditions is a wonderful time of year to appreciate the past, present and future and to take a moment to breath and remember to live every day to your fullest potential and be ecstatic that you have surrounded yourself with amazing people.

May your days be filled with adventure and excitement and your nights be stuffed with joy and tranquility!

I have to rant …

Recently, Adam Lambert of American Idol fame was blasphemized for a racy number during this years AMA’s in which he – during the moment – kissed a member of his band who happened to also have a penis.

The aftermath of this has been devastating for Lambert as Good Morning America and other outlets are trickling down their cancellations of his appearances and appointments on their shows.

What gets me is that when Britney/Madonna and Christina Aguilera did it during the VMA’s a few years back it was a “gasp” moment but, wasn’t a downright catastrophe like the Lambert kiss.

So now we get back to the double standards of society.   It’s completely alright for two girls to make out/kiss/have sex/grind together … (are you turned on yet?)  but if two guys do any of the above it’s puke worthy?

How is that OK?

This now brings me to a topic that I’m SURE I’m going to get a lot of heat about – Prop 8 and the like.

I am a LARGE supporter for gay rights.   Being a musical theater major and growing up in the theater my entire life, as well as having some VERY close gay friends, makes it a no brainer for me to agree with the gay community that having the same government/state laws available for a same sex couple is only fair.

What I believe the hold up is in the gay marriage act is the actual term MARRIAGE.   Marriage is a religious institution.   It is something that is taken from the bible and other religious books and is described as a union between a man and a woman.

What I feel the problem is is that it’s not the WORD that should be changed.   If same sex couples have the EXACT same rights – in the eyes of the law – then that is your fight!  If it’s the term MARRIAGE that you want to change, then that is another fight all together.   That is a fight in the church’s and not on a governmental level.

Yes,  we should all have the same rights and benefits.  Yes,  two people in love SHOULD be able to share finances, make wills together and share benefits.   But, is the term marriage really your fight?  If it is, then how does the government have anything to do with that?   Last I checked, there was a seperation between church and state.

I will continue to always support my homosexual friends.   I just wonder if sometimes we are fighting the wrong battles.   Equality for all!  Equality for how gay men and women are judged.  Equality for how gays and straight couples are given their rights.   Equality for blacks, hispanics, whites, jewish, asian and women.  Equality.

It has been FAR too long since I have updated this site.   I apoligize for those of you who are actually following my musings here.   So much has been going on in my life over the past few months and will all of my concentration being put into my social networking pages, I tend to overlook my own personal page.   That is soon changing!

I’ve come to realize, lately, that being transparent on the internet is not always the best course of action.  A prime example of this occured last night at Blizzcon.   I made a Twitter post that I was at a certain location in the convention.   About 10 minutes later, the director of DirectTV/Blizzcon coverage comes over to say  hello.   He had added me to Twitter and was following my tweets.   While most people would say WOW, that’s cool!, it made me really stop and question everything I had posted over the past year since I am sure I was added.

On top of this, I’ve run into much drama involving misunderstandings, miscommunications and a general sense of not really knowing who I really am based on what people read from my comments/postings online.  It’s something that is a very strong learning experience for me and something that has definitely helped me grow as a person in the past 6 months or so.

Long story short,  you will see less of the personal side of Becky on my networking pages.   For those of you who are my friends, you know where you can find me!   I’m a phone call/IM or Email away.   I will obviously check my Facebook/Myspace inbox’s on a regular basis and I will ALWAYS be available there for all of my friends/fans.

I just feel it’s time to take back my IRL persona and step back from the online caricature that has become “Aktrez”.   Aktrez and Becky are one in the same and I truly invite you to get to know the real person behind the avatar.

I will also be spending much more time concentrating on my acting.   I’ve been working in the gaming realm for so many years that the whole reason I am here has been overshadowed.   It’s time to get back on the wagon and push to become what I’m truly meant to be!

Thank you for all of your continued love and support.   It means the world to me to know that I am able to entertain and hopefully inspire through my own journeys and life lessons.

xoxo,

Becky

During the latest filming of There Will Be Brawl, Chloe, Chelsea and I decided to have a little fun on set.

Episode 7 is finally here!!!

After about 4 years of not updating my headshots, I finally got around to working with an AMAZING photographer (Britt Dietz) and getting my new set put together.   If you could, take a moment and let me know your thoughts on these newest shots!

Take a moment to help me decide the top 4 shots!

Just now I was cooling off in the shower (it’s bloody hot in LA this evening) and a poem popped into my head. I wanted to write it down before I forgot it.

INSOMNIA

I lay here at night. Combating the day
Afraid of my fears, so I push them away
Afraid of the tears, so I keep them at bay
Afraid of the jeers, afraid what they’ll say.

My stomach flips out. I swallow the bile.
I get my groove back, I give you a smile
I get back on track, I’ll go the full mile
I get all the facts, analyze them with style.

But know that it’s there. The gutwrenching pain.
To prove to my past, a small girl from Maine
To prove to myself, no crutch and no cane
To prove to the world, what persistence can gain

What will I be.  Where do I start
Ignoring the mind, believing the heart
Ignoring the self, becoming a part
Ignoring the blonde, reviving the smart

End of the day.  We are what we are
Forgetting the wounds, adoring the scars
Forgetting the “mine”, adopting the “ours”
Forgetting the hate, embracing the star

To lose and to win. Say yes and say no
To quote Dr. Suess, “Oh the places you’ll go”
To shut up myself, “But it’s going too slow”
To pick up my head, “And it’s on with the show!”

Why I will go see Star Trek (regardless of the fact I’m a Star Wars fan over a Trekkie….)

Live long and perspire … er… propose .. DAMN It! Prostate #$#()$*.

Yeah… him!

I haven’t seen him .. um … it yet; What are your thoughts on the movie overall? (no spoilers!)

So, I recently checked out the new Wolvie movie.  I went into it with an open mind.  I am a movie buff and therefore I do throroughly enjoy a dramatic romp through the fields of cinematic brilliance.   That said, I am also a hardcore X-men fan and so my ears were most definitely perked due to rumblings of inconsistency in story throughout the film.   The following review will tackle both sides of the spectrum and comes with a little red warning label

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I invite you to make up your own mind about the film by going to see it and coming to your own conclusions.  Once you have those conclusions, come back here and leave your comments on the film!  Now .. without further Ado

X-MEN Origins: Wolverine

Before we begin, let me throw up a few statistics about this weekends blockbuster:
Despite a premature leak online and setbacks due to the swine flu madness, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” was a hit at theaters, topping the weekend’s box office by a mile.

Slicing through its competitors at the box office with a reported $87 million in ticket sales domestically, and $170 million worldwide.

Those numbers may make for a lot of very angry X-men fans.

Let me start off by also stating that this review is a tad biased.   For those of you who DON’T know of my fascination/love of all things Emma Frost, well, there is a lot to learn.   I started cosplaying as Emma Frost in 2006 at my second Comic Con.    This came after discovering Greg Horn’s artwork which led to buying all 18 issues of the Emma Frost origins series.   At that time, I fell in LOVE with the character of Ms. Frost.   She is one of those bad girls that everyone loves to hate but for me, she embodied a girl who just led a horrible childhood and decided to turn down the wrong path.

There was more to Emma than what most saw and I absolutely loved that about her.  Each year, during Comic Con, I take a day to go dressed as Emma.  Each year I put a bit more into her character or add more to her costume.  This year, I plan on attempting a version of Emma that has not yet been done yet.   I’m pretty excited!

Please see the following exhibits detailing my passion for this specific character.

Alright, so let’s start off by explaining that Emma only has 2 sisters.

To the left on this picture is Adrienne, Emma’s older, bitchier and money hungry sister.  Now, Adrienne met an untimely but, relatively obvious death early on in Emma’s teenage years.   So, Adrienne is very much out of the picture come the days of Wolverine.

Now, to the far rigth is Cordelia.  Cordelia is Emma’s drug addicted, emo, younger sister who ends up running away from home after Emma’s brother, Daniel, takes his own life because their dickhead father can’t handle the fact that Daniel is gay and all his children have issues.

So now, where is this mysterious sister that appears in Wolverine’s origins storyline trying to bust Emma free of mutant lockup? Answer: She doesn’t exist!

Further analysis of the storyline shows that Wolvie only boned a girl named Kayla Silverfox and was never married to her.  Kayla is a native American who Logan met while in the Canadian Rockies.

The writers took it all one step further by giving Kayla Emma’s ability of mind control over her written ability to rapidly heal.   Emma is left only looking pretty and sparkly as her skin turns into multiple diamonds and she can deflect bullets. Yeah .. um .. not quite her ability!

Emma also appears quite young in this part of the movie.  Emma didn’t even leave Massachusettes and her Daddy’s parental issues until she was in her early 20’s.  She then moved to NYC.   She is OBVIOUSLY much younger than 20 in this movie.

Now … Let’s move away from the unfortunate laughing stock that is Emma Frost (still bitter guys … still bitter) and jump into the comic goodness of Deadpool.

Let’s take a look at Deadpools ACTUAL abilities:
Regenerative healing factor
Superhuman strength, stamina, agility, and reflexes
Expert marksman, swordsman, and martial artist
Teleportation
“Comic awareness”
Telepathic immunity

Ok, not too bad.  Now, where do Wolverine’s claws coming from the body and Scott Summers laser eyes come into play?   Now let’s just throw in there the good old Vampire trick (since Vampires seem to be SOOO in now adays) of decapitating to kill the immortal.  Yeah … you all see where I’m going with this.

BOOM … HEADSHOT!

I’m not even going to get into the TRUE origin’s story of Wolverine but, just a few highlights:

He’s not American – he’s Canadian … always was
Sabertooth is by NO means his brother
He was kidnapped by “Professor” and forced to undergo the Adimanteum treatment as a test.
He lived with wolves for a short time in his childhood – thus Wolverine came to be.

SO … now with ALL of that out of the way … let’s get down to the movie itself.

If I was not a comic book fan I would have loved the film!   The writing was clever, the action sequences were great.  Only a few times was the CG non believable but, overall, it was a fantastic film!  I felt that every actor was cast perfectly for what the director decided the story and characters should convey.   They aren’t the original writers of the comics choices (Aside from maybe Wolvie, Sabertooth and Gambit who I believe were PERFECT casting) but they did do a fabulous job at bringing to life the characters that this director/writer wanted us to know.

I would give the film a solid 7 out of 10 and believe me .. .that is TOUGH coming from an X-men fan.   Though it butchers the original story, I did find myself actually liking the film overall.

That said, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give us a version that is closer to the original.  Hell, maybe I”ll make it myself!   Who wants to be in my Emma Frost origins story with me?   I’m going to start casting this week.

Did you see the film?   What was your opinion?  SOUND OFF!

I get GOBS of email/Myspace/Twitter/Facebook messages on a daily basis with questions from people about how to get into gaming, what to do in their relationships and about things I’ve done or people I’ve met.

I thought I would use this platform here as a one stop shop to answer all of your burning questions! So, ask away. After all, I do this for you. If you weren’t reading, I would be pretty lame for writing to myself.